The Smoker You Drink…

Dear Bartender: The other day my doctor asked me how much I drink. I didn’t want to get a lecture on the fact that I drink too much, so I answered, “Well, I admit it’s a lot more now that I’ve stopped smoking.” It worked: he was so relieved I’d quit smoking he didn’t mention alcohol again.

My question: Wasn’t I clever?

– Patience

Dear Patience: Yes, very clever. Especially if you never smoked in the first place — or never stopped. Isn’t it great to pay people to listen to our rationalizations?

Makes me wonder what else you’ll tell your bartender that you won’t tell your doctor.