Dream Date

Dear Bartender: Hello from Paris!

I just started bar tending about 3 weeks ago. So far so good, and I am picking up the skill quickly (or so say my managers) I have been working long shifts and really focusing on my job, no girls, and very little drinking. After a week of doing the 5:00 pm to 3:00 AM shift I started having dreams that I was still serving people and working. I am standing behind the bar, taking orders, and dealing with customers that piss me off, just like work. It still happens nightly and I don’t know if this is common, rare, or just a phase. Let me know what you think.

–Andrew

Dear Andrew: Since the exact same thing happens to me after a busy shift at the bar, I’ll assume it’s common. I don’t think it’s unique to bartending, but perhaps it’s unique to diligence. (When I was a kid and obsessed with getting the highest score possible on Ms. Pac Man, I’d play that in my sleep, too.)

What finally cured me of the bartending dreams was this: As soon as I realize I’m dreaming, I pick up a bottle of Johnny Walker Black and smash it against the bar.

Unless you’re in the habit of doing that in real life, it tends to interrupt the pattern pretty efficiently.

Dream a little dream

Dear Bartender: Last night the strangest thing happened. I had a sex dream about my wife.

When I mentioned it to my special lady (not my wife), she hit the ceiling. What more does she want? She already gets most of my attention, a good portion of my income and a killer rent-free apartment on Lex and 33rd. Now she wants to control my dreams, too??

Please, bartender, help me talk some sense into her. Or is another mink coat in order?

— Stray

Dear Strayer: Some dreams are not to be interpreted literally. Tell your mistress that your dream merely represented how efficiently the two of you are screwing over your wife.