Don’t let your left hand know…
August 11, 2008Dear Bartender: I got married fifteen months ago. On my honeymoon, I was surprised to hear my husband tell me that I was no longer allowed to masturbate. I’ll admit that I agreed to this at the time — but mostly because we were then regularly having sex.
Since then, sex has become infrequent. Am I obliged to abide by his rules?
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Dear Jennifer: Masturbation is not to be confused with infidelity. While there may be circumstances under which a spouse may legitimately request limits on his partner’s masturbation (I’m thinking of a non-cheating spouse who masturbates but denies her husband sex), to masturbate is not to cheat. It doesn’t matter whom you think about when you masturbate; it’s not the same as cheating.
My opinion is this: If masturbation doesn’t get in the way of a healthy sex life with your husband, he has no business telling you not to do it.
Ask a Bartender 
dear bartender: i like having sex with my boyfriend but i don’t want him to look at me while we’re doing it. Can I tell him not to look at me during sex?
DTMFA!!!1!
Dear grind — What’s wrong with doggy style?
Well it doesn’t totally solve the problem of the sight lines but it is one of the better options…..
I think your husband was doing you a favor and looking after your best interests. Everyone knows that masturbation is a sin and he just doesn’t want you to go to hell. I think you should thank him for his insight and devotion.
Oh, by the way, you should also refrain from menstruating as well. Everyone knows that is unclean. It’s also just plain rude.
Nice graphic addition….. dude.
Thanks grind. I’ve been thinking that this site needed to get more graphic.